CHRISTMAS:)

On the night before Christmas, my house gave to me ONEE BUSTED WATER HEATER.

I spent my Christmas eve (well, technically the first hour of Christmas) leaning out of my attic window, with a headlamp and a hose, draining forty gallons of water into my garden below. It was quite cold. However, we came to realize that our attempts were futile because the water shut off valve was broken, so there was basically an endless supply of water running out of the hose. SO THEN my brother had to go shut off the water to my entire house. Merry Christmas to the Maddox family, I guess. We'll be getting a new hot water heater on Monday, but til then you'll just have to deal with a dirty Caity. Since I refuse to take a cold shower. buhhh.

But enough whining, its Christmas! Which is the hap. happiest time of the year :) I got several wonderful things from my family. As I <-- it is now several hours later, and I have no idea what this sentence was going to be.* Here, I'll show you THINGS my family got me:


This lovely plaque thing my brother made for me :) I want to be a teacher, so Sam thought this would be appropriate. And he was right. This will be in any classroom I have once I am a full grown teacher.




He also got me this. Because I've been bugging him for ages to get me one.









My sister, crafty lady that she is, made me a laptop case! Isn't it ADORABLE? I love it, anyway. Hedwig fits in it perfectly and I'm sure she will love her new cozy home.







THE GIFT OF KNOWLEDGE. that is all.







It was a very DFTBA christmas for me. I am currently jamming to Eddplant, but I will love all of them when I get to them.








I got other AWESOME gifts, but I won't bore you with the details of my BRAND NEW BOP IT ZOMG or my first aid kit *responsibilities*.

Merry Christmas to you and yours. :) xx


*EDIT:: It's now nearing midnight, and my all my Christmas guests have left** and I remembered what that sentence was going to be. As I explain here, I really enjoy making presents, and in my family we often make each others gifts.
**Honestly, that is the best part of this season for me. Selina and the girls were here today, and as she put it "d'aw, I just love it when the whole family is together." Because, for me, family is much more than the people who are connected to you by blood or name. They're the people who fill every day of your life with happiness and light. xx

Mostly I miss you..

& I can't find the words.


Story of my life. Oh, well. There is so much going on in my brain right now, and I just don't know what to do with all of it. Its like I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore and it worries me. And, like, I'm reverting back to parts of my old self that I didn't like and I'm changing parts of me that I don't like the new part and its just overall strange. Have I mentioned I don't like change? In the slightest. And like, I know parts of me are changing that need to change, but I'm overall becoming a much harsher person than I used to be & I'm not quite sure I like it. I don't know--like I said, I don't like change. I'm just at a very weird point in my life right now, and I don't know what, if anything, I can do. Maybe when I am home, things will start to feel normal. Its like, I am at a really good place in my life right now, but I just don't like the fact that everything is new. And I know that I am supposed to like that fact because that is what college is all about, right? Changing, finding out who I am, and all that stuff. But, I don't know. Sometimes, I wish I could just fast forward through this phase of my life. And I'm not saying it isn't great, because it is.. I'm just relly lonely, I guess. Which is strange because I am constantly surrounded by people I care about, but I feel like I am standing in a crowded room, and I'm making noise, but no one is listening and I can't breathe. Bahh, I'm sorry if anyone has read through to this. I know it hasn't made much sense and it s chock full of contradictions and me changing what i'm saying, but thats what stream of conscious is, isn't it? And thats how I'm feeling right now. Very, whatever comes to my mind, comes out of my fingers. Which I guess is ok, one day I'll be able to look back on this, and realize what I twat I am right now. Unnf. I don't know.

First semester is almost over, which I guess is good. I'll be going home on Wednesday for a long time, and I haven't been at home for more than two days since I moved, so I'm looking forward to that, but I don't know how assimilating back into my old life and back to living with my mom, and basically having responsibilities to other people again. I guess that is what's changed with me over the last few months. Basically all of high school and most of middle school, I responisbilities outside of myself that I was able to focus on and that made me not self-centered and whatever, but now, the only person I am responsible to it me. I can basically do whatever it is that I want, and it has lead to change in me. And I miss the old me, but I also like the new mean, though I am a whole hell of a lot meaner than I used to be which I don't like.

Bahh, this is getting really long. Going now, byee:)

x

nowplaying - Untitled (Can't FInd the Words.) -- Eddplant.

This is my new favorite song and its awesome and yeahh..
dftb.com/eddplant

Almost done!

So, I know I am basically the only person who reads this except for my one follower (Hi, Trav!), but if I know him--and I do, we're sort of best friends--he has no time to read this. BUT I DON'T CARE. Because I am a child of the 21st century and therefore EVERYTHNING IS ABOUT ME!
Not really--but my generation likes to think it is.

Onto more important things- WHY AM I AWAKE?
I have a paper due in five hours and I just can't force myself to start it. Well, that's not quite true--I have the first sentence. I only have.. 950 more words to go. Piece of cake.
Once I start it.
Which I will.
Soon.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO.

Tomorrow is my LAST DAY OF CLASS--I can't write an essay with that laying on my brain. I mean, I've literally known about this essay for over a month, but did I chose to start it? Hell no. Because I am dumb.
I don't care.

I WILL BE HOME FOR A MONTH IN LESS THAN A WEEK.
This makes me happy.

I need to write.

its 501 am.

This is basically word vomit that I am trying to get out so I can attempt to concentrate, but I don't know if it will work. Let's hope it will. I doubt it.

One day, when I'm famous, someone will creep me, find this and think I am insane.

Which, of course, I probably am.


x

Thanksgiving

My dog is the biggest baby ever.

We are currently en route home from Iowa where we spent t-givs with family and everytime my mom hits one of those bump things on the side of the road, he jumps and climbs even further into my lap. This would be fine if he were a little dog and could fit into my lap. But he is not. My baby is a four year old Chow-German Shepard-Lab-Golden Retriever mix.


I personally think he is the most beautiful dog ever, but the fact remains--he is huge. But he thinks he is lap dog size and therefore I've had to share the army cot I slept on for the last week with him. But love will do just about anything :)

I meant to write about thanksgiving and my whole break but we just hit another bump and now I can barely move my arms and I'm typing this on my phone anyway. More when I get home. In like 12 hours.
x

Waiting for my real life to begin...

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin


-- Colin Hay.



These are the things I want to do over the next year or two of my life & how I plan to accomplish them. Hopefully all my wildest dreams will come true.<3

I am a History Education major with a minor in Spanish and LJ is a friend of mine that lives a long way a way :(
Colonial Williamsburg is a place I fell in love with last summer and I am really really excited to go back. I would like to work there and that way I would get some hands on training in historical education because that is what they are all about.
Spain is a place in Europe :) My school does this amazing study abroad there, and I want to go Summer of 2012. But I need money to get there. Hence the job in Williamsburg. If that doesn't pan out, I'm planning on working somewhere in Memphis for the summer to make the monies.
LJ is wonderful and I miss her and I want to see her. The end.


1.COLONIAL WILLIAMSBURG
a.Check periodically for job listings
b.Talk to Janet
c.How the hell am I going to get to work?
d.Vehicle
2.SPAIN
a.Need source of income to pay for it
b.Classes – that classification thing
c.Spanish classes
3.SEE LJ
a.President’s Day weekend?
b.monies


So, yeah. Those are some things I want to do with my life. I am starting to get really REALLY excited about my future and I can't wait for it to arrive :)


x

IT'S THURSDAY:)

I love Thursdays :) Thursdays are the days I get to spend with my best cousin friend and just chit chat about everything:) and it's absolutely wonderful. HAPPY HOUR. but not the kind with alcohol. Because I don't drink, buy if I do, I'll be 21. *fingergun* (LAMEST STAY DRY COMMERCIAL EVER.)

:))))

In other news, I slept through shower time again today. I am so gross. Shower after happy hour DEFINITELY.
(sorry for all the caps today--I'm tired and hyper, which is so not a good combination.)

ANYWAY- I should probably start paying attention in this class. But I won't because I could never come to class and still pass because it's that easy. Oh, college. You are SO challenging. Not.


x

Days til HP: 7
Days til I go home: 12
Color of the day: yellow.

Something I should mention..

I love Harry Potter.
Like a lot.
Like a lot, a lot.
And I am beyond FREAKING EXCITED for next Thursday, at midnight.
I am going as Ginny Weasley. BECAUSE I AM GINNY WEASLEY. I love her; I've always loved her. I sort of wish she had a much larger role in the novels, but I know that she needed to be that way. I also absolutely ADORE the way she is developed throughout the novels, because she reminds me so much of myself as I was developing into myself. I was this shy little thing that suddenly "bloomed into a beautiful flower" as Daddy Royce said once. (lulz).
Oh, my friends and I are currently watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azakaban (henceforth to be referred as PoA because everyone, EVERYONE, should know HP abbreviations. Because HP is pretty much the most boss thing ever.

Well-- except for British student protests. Which is a thing that happened today. Apparently, students in the UK don't have to pay much, if any, for higher education (SO JEALOUS--by the time I graduate, I'll be SWIMMING in debt.. I digress..) and the gov't has decided that CHEAP EDUCATION IS FOR COMMIES. Actually, I made that up. In reality, from what I've read, the UK has one of the highest budget deficits and the gov't is attempting to rectify that by deciding that students will have to pay out the ass for university and whanot.
To quote Eddplant "On your feet, lads, and let’s show them they can’t hold us down."


Sometimes I wish I was British. The tuition costs here in America are RIDICULOUS, and a lot of my friends from high school aren't in college because they can't afford it OR they aren't where they need to be to obtain the degree they want because of lack of funds. For most people--not all--but for most people, to get a stable job, it requires AT LEAST a BA or BS which you can't get if you can't afford to go to school, which means your family will be raised on less funds, giving them less options when your children grow up, possibly making THEM unable to attend post-secondary. It's a vicious cycle, my friends. AND IT IS TOTALLY UNFAIR.
Where are the protests in America? Where are the people calling for change? I saw them two years ago--but what happened to that fire? Don't even get me started on the mid-term elections that just passed. OR THE TEA PARTY. Bleg.

Don't get me wrong--I love being an American. I am damn proud to be one. I fully support President Obama, I just wish he would do some of the things he promised me as a young 16 year, awash in hope and change.


What a lovely little post--Harry Potter and politics.

EDIT: http://m.guardian.co.uk/education/2010/nov/10/student-fees-protest-conservative-hq?cat=education&type=article


x

Haha I suck at this & other things.

Since my last writing, I've since moved to college! It's going great, and Iim doing all those collegy things--dressing like a revolutionary, critically considering the world, late nights, fast food, etc. Without the binge drinking.
I am not, nor will I ever be, a binge drinker.
That isn't to say I am one of those non-drinkers who are OMG WUT ALCOHOL SUX. YOU SUCK FOR DRINKING.
I have no problem with drinking, I even firmly believe the American drinking age should be lowered to 18. I'm just not that into and I don't have the access to it that you would assume one would have on a college campus. I mean, I'm sure I could find it if I went looking for it, but why would I want to do that, when I can sit around, goofing off with my friends. That's the glory in college, is it not? Finding people you truly connect with and care about and waste nights in their company?
That's what I am getting out of college and so far, that's really all I want out of college.
I mean, I am also learning things. Don't get me wrong--I love the learning. I am one of those people who love to learn for the sake of learning. I find learning fascinating and have been known to spend hours on Wikipedia, just learning things. That obvious though, if you know me. I am here for an education-but I'm also here for the experience of it all.
Also-- the football. My God, do I love football. And having SEC football right on my campus is wonderful. Yes, I could have gone to school up North, but why one Earth would I want to do that when I have SEC football in my backyard? (Don't answer that--there are lots of legitimate reasons, I am sure. I considered them, don't worry.)
Anyway--off to bed.


x
(that is an English thing I have picked up from my recent discovery of English YouTubers. I like it.)

Like dust, I'll rise.

Still, I Rise.


You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

On the art of losing control.

Losing control is not something I'm good at.
Well.. moreover, keeping absolute control is something I'm amazing at. I guess thats why I am so good at what I do. Well, did. Now, I'm just a normal college girl & I guess I have to learn to let go; to release; to give into my emotions & just be. & while I may give off a good facade of being able to do that, I simply can't. & that was exemplified for me on Sunday night when I went to a concert where I was completely unable to give into the music & just exist in that moment. Which I can do at home, by myself, in my kitchen, with the broom. (That sounds like a murder mystery haha.) I was trying to get into the music, to jump, to sing, & I found myself looking at myself as if I was someone else, and I simply couldn't allow myself to turn off my brain. That I'll have to work on, like everything else. Because I am simply a work in progress, like every one else.

Today, I was listening to a HP Alliance livestream and Alex Day (aka Nerimon on YouTube) happened to be one of the guests.
Okay, well, actually I tuned in simply because I think he's adorable. (!!!!) Haha, but anyway he and the guy that was actually doing the interview (I want to say Andrew Slack?) info here. got into a discussion on some beliefs of the Buddha of all things & Thich Nhat Hanh, who my dad has told me about. Anyway, they began to talk about his book, Peace is Every Step, which apparently is kind of one of those way of life Buddhist books that I would be really interested to read. I'm going to talk to my dad about it tomorrow. But anyway, what I was going to say was that it was amazing that this podcast thing with a YouTube celeb and a man trying to change the world through HARRY POTTER of all things (which, god, the way he related the themes in the novels to every day life... another time, mayhaps..) they came together to talk about Buddhist values of living in the NOW, rather than past or the future.. and oh, this one thing Andrew said about how listening to a voicemail was like looking into a star and how it was a window into the past. And funnily enough all of this was related to Doctor Who, which apparently is a phenom in the UK. I realize I'm rambling, but I was seriously moved by this simple twenty minute podcast I listened to. And all because of the internet, was I able to listen to a Brit in LA discuss ways of life with a man on the East Coast. God, isn't a beautiful thing?

Actually, while I'm on the subject of God & beautiful things... life is a beautiful thing. Tell someone you love, that simple truth. That you love them. They might need to hear it. I know that I need to hear it, and quite frequently.



<3

:))

Wonderful night last night. Steak and Shake for dinner & Toy Story 3! Even though its been several years since the other TS's, they completely managed to make this one fit into the story perfectly & I love the message it portrayed. Especially having Barbie say one of the most intelligent things in the movie. "Authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from the threat of force!" Amazing, that one. Very philosophical & sort of sounds like Thomas Jefferson, which is wonderful.

Mmk, so my amazing frien T leaves for China today & I won't see him til August which kinda sucks because he is my go-to guy for just about everything & I love hanging out with him. But I know he is going to have an amazing time & learn lots of things & come home a better, stronger person.


<3 C.

47 days.

So, I have 47 days before I start the next big step in my life, & I decided to document it.

Shocker.

Why is it that whenever we are to begin the next thing, regardless of what it is, we feel the need to start writing about it, or talking about it, or hell, we feel the need to even mention it: the big next thing is coming. For me. And for thousands of other fresh out of high school kids across the country, and across the world. For a kid.. well, young adult, of my I don't know.. class, I guess but that doesn't seem like quite the right word.. going off to school is just the next step in my already planned out life.

be born.

go to 12 years of school.

go to college.

get a job.

live life.

die.

Sounds fun.

Anyway, I guess my point is, that although for someone like me, this is really no big deal, for me.. IT'S A BIG DEAL.

I'm leaving. I'm gone. From everything & everyone I've ever known and loved in Memphis. That may seem a bit dramatic considering I have friends going to school with me and family there and I'll only be a few hours away, BUT STILL.

I don't quite know if I'm ready to leave just yet. I think I am. I hope I am.

I guess we'll just have to see.

Well, then this is it, I guess. The story of the rest of the summer before the rest of my life.

How thrilling.