CHRISTMAS:)

On the night before Christmas, my house gave to me ONEE BUSTED WATER HEATER.

I spent my Christmas eve (well, technically the first hour of Christmas) leaning out of my attic window, with a headlamp and a hose, draining forty gallons of water into my garden below. It was quite cold. However, we came to realize that our attempts were futile because the water shut off valve was broken, so there was basically an endless supply of water running out of the hose. SO THEN my brother had to go shut off the water to my entire house. Merry Christmas to the Maddox family, I guess. We'll be getting a new hot water heater on Monday, but til then you'll just have to deal with a dirty Caity. Since I refuse to take a cold shower. buhhh.

But enough whining, its Christmas! Which is the hap. happiest time of the year :) I got several wonderful things from my family. As I <-- it is now several hours later, and I have no idea what this sentence was going to be.* Here, I'll show you THINGS my family got me:


This lovely plaque thing my brother made for me :) I want to be a teacher, so Sam thought this would be appropriate. And he was right. This will be in any classroom I have once I am a full grown teacher.




He also got me this. Because I've been bugging him for ages to get me one.









My sister, crafty lady that she is, made me a laptop case! Isn't it ADORABLE? I love it, anyway. Hedwig fits in it perfectly and I'm sure she will love her new cozy home.







THE GIFT OF KNOWLEDGE. that is all.







It was a very DFTBA christmas for me. I am currently jamming to Eddplant, but I will love all of them when I get to them.








I got other AWESOME gifts, but I won't bore you with the details of my BRAND NEW BOP IT ZOMG or my first aid kit *responsibilities*.

Merry Christmas to you and yours. :) xx


*EDIT:: It's now nearing midnight, and my all my Christmas guests have left** and I remembered what that sentence was going to be. As I explain here, I really enjoy making presents, and in my family we often make each others gifts.
**Honestly, that is the best part of this season for me. Selina and the girls were here today, and as she put it "d'aw, I just love it when the whole family is together." Because, for me, family is much more than the people who are connected to you by blood or name. They're the people who fill every day of your life with happiness and light. xx

Mostly I miss you..

& I can't find the words.


Story of my life. Oh, well. There is so much going on in my brain right now, and I just don't know what to do with all of it. Its like I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore and it worries me. And, like, I'm reverting back to parts of my old self that I didn't like and I'm changing parts of me that I don't like the new part and its just overall strange. Have I mentioned I don't like change? In the slightest. And like, I know parts of me are changing that need to change, but I'm overall becoming a much harsher person than I used to be & I'm not quite sure I like it. I don't know--like I said, I don't like change. I'm just at a very weird point in my life right now, and I don't know what, if anything, I can do. Maybe when I am home, things will start to feel normal. Its like, I am at a really good place in my life right now, but I just don't like the fact that everything is new. And I know that I am supposed to like that fact because that is what college is all about, right? Changing, finding out who I am, and all that stuff. But, I don't know. Sometimes, I wish I could just fast forward through this phase of my life. And I'm not saying it isn't great, because it is.. I'm just relly lonely, I guess. Which is strange because I am constantly surrounded by people I care about, but I feel like I am standing in a crowded room, and I'm making noise, but no one is listening and I can't breathe. Bahh, I'm sorry if anyone has read through to this. I know it hasn't made much sense and it s chock full of contradictions and me changing what i'm saying, but thats what stream of conscious is, isn't it? And thats how I'm feeling right now. Very, whatever comes to my mind, comes out of my fingers. Which I guess is ok, one day I'll be able to look back on this, and realize what I twat I am right now. Unnf. I don't know.

First semester is almost over, which I guess is good. I'll be going home on Wednesday for a long time, and I haven't been at home for more than two days since I moved, so I'm looking forward to that, but I don't know how assimilating back into my old life and back to living with my mom, and basically having responsibilities to other people again. I guess that is what's changed with me over the last few months. Basically all of high school and most of middle school, I responisbilities outside of myself that I was able to focus on and that made me not self-centered and whatever, but now, the only person I am responsible to it me. I can basically do whatever it is that I want, and it has lead to change in me. And I miss the old me, but I also like the new mean, though I am a whole hell of a lot meaner than I used to be which I don't like.

Bahh, this is getting really long. Going now, byee:)

x

nowplaying - Untitled (Can't FInd the Words.) -- Eddplant.

This is my new favorite song and its awesome and yeahh..
dftb.com/eddplant

Almost done!

So, I know I am basically the only person who reads this except for my one follower (Hi, Trav!), but if I know him--and I do, we're sort of best friends--he has no time to read this. BUT I DON'T CARE. Because I am a child of the 21st century and therefore EVERYTHNING IS ABOUT ME!
Not really--but my generation likes to think it is.

Onto more important things- WHY AM I AWAKE?
I have a paper due in five hours and I just can't force myself to start it. Well, that's not quite true--I have the first sentence. I only have.. 950 more words to go. Piece of cake.
Once I start it.
Which I will.
Soon.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO.

Tomorrow is my LAST DAY OF CLASS--I can't write an essay with that laying on my brain. I mean, I've literally known about this essay for over a month, but did I chose to start it? Hell no. Because I am dumb.
I don't care.

I WILL BE HOME FOR A MONTH IN LESS THAN A WEEK.
This makes me happy.

I need to write.

its 501 am.

This is basically word vomit that I am trying to get out so I can attempt to concentrate, but I don't know if it will work. Let's hope it will. I doubt it.

One day, when I'm famous, someone will creep me, find this and think I am insane.

Which, of course, I probably am.


x