On the art of losing control.

Losing control is not something I'm good at.
Well.. moreover, keeping absolute control is something I'm amazing at. I guess thats why I am so good at what I do. Well, did. Now, I'm just a normal college girl & I guess I have to learn to let go; to release; to give into my emotions & just be. & while I may give off a good facade of being able to do that, I simply can't. & that was exemplified for me on Sunday night when I went to a concert where I was completely unable to give into the music & just exist in that moment. Which I can do at home, by myself, in my kitchen, with the broom. (That sounds like a murder mystery haha.) I was trying to get into the music, to jump, to sing, & I found myself looking at myself as if I was someone else, and I simply couldn't allow myself to turn off my brain. That I'll have to work on, like everything else. Because I am simply a work in progress, like every one else.

Today, I was listening to a HP Alliance livestream and Alex Day (aka Nerimon on YouTube) happened to be one of the guests.
Okay, well, actually I tuned in simply because I think he's adorable. (!!!!) Haha, but anyway he and the guy that was actually doing the interview (I want to say Andrew Slack?) info here. got into a discussion on some beliefs of the Buddha of all things & Thich Nhat Hanh, who my dad has told me about. Anyway, they began to talk about his book, Peace is Every Step, which apparently is kind of one of those way of life Buddhist books that I would be really interested to read. I'm going to talk to my dad about it tomorrow. But anyway, what I was going to say was that it was amazing that this podcast thing with a YouTube celeb and a man trying to change the world through HARRY POTTER of all things (which, god, the way he related the themes in the novels to every day life... another time, mayhaps..) they came together to talk about Buddhist values of living in the NOW, rather than past or the future.. and oh, this one thing Andrew said about how listening to a voicemail was like looking into a star and how it was a window into the past. And funnily enough all of this was related to Doctor Who, which apparently is a phenom in the UK. I realize I'm rambling, but I was seriously moved by this simple twenty minute podcast I listened to. And all because of the internet, was I able to listen to a Brit in LA discuss ways of life with a man on the East Coast. God, isn't a beautiful thing?

Actually, while I'm on the subject of God & beautiful things... life is a beautiful thing. Tell someone you love, that simple truth. That you love them. They might need to hear it. I know that I need to hear it, and quite frequently.



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