19.

Its been almost a month to the day since I last wrote here, and that sort of makes me feel like a failure. If it helps, I've popped over here a few times over the last thirty days, opened a draft, and sat and stared at the blinking thingy thing. (you know what I mean.)

BUT- I haz good topic to talk about today!

In two days' time, I'll be turning 19 which means I'll be entering my very last teen year. Which is a good feeling and also a scary one. I can't seem to make up my mind as to which feeling is overwhelming me at the moment. I think, actually I know that what needs to be overwhelming me is happiness. I'm passing through into "transitional adulthood" (a phrase I learned in Sociology today) where I have big girl responsibilities! but I still depend on my mom. Which I'm cool with. I just wish these years weren't going by so quickly. Like, I'm almost done with my first year of college & that literally blows my mind. Soon, it will be a year since I started this blog (which isn't that big of a feat, I must admit--it sort of blows) and soon it'll be a year since I discovered the wonder that is YouTube and vlogging (which I am getting better at :) )

And soon I'll graduating and starting my life and oh my god.

Don't get me wrong, I am overly excited for my future and everything that is going to happen to me. I'm just scared too because I've never travelled down this road, and like Katherine Howard, I like to have everything practiced perfectly before I do it. Therefore I don't falter or fuck up.* I don't stumbled and make a fool of myself. But I've never done any of this before and it's really scary. Hold me.

So, anyway-- I'm going home to celebrate my birthday with Selina. I'm actually taking my friends home with me and we're having a party at my house and its going to be excellent :) I'm really excited.
Though there are going to be people there who don't get along and I'm kind of interested in how that will turn out. But more on that never--private things are private after all :)

I have a paper to write--on psychology. whoop. buh bye now.

x

* - I've decided that here, on my blog, I'm going to speak like I would in real life. Which, in real life, I say words like fuck. I try not to use them elsewhere on teh interwebs, but I feel safe here. Hope you don't mind. xx